Orphanpool
by iamgroot
Summary: Deadpool tries to cut in line in front of Helena at a taco truck. Chaos ensues.


A girl gazes up at a taco truck, her thick blonde curly hair cascading over her shoulders. She adorns some simple clothing borrowed from one of her 'Seestras', consisting of a plain grey t-shirt, black pants and a black hoodie. She takes a step forward to order, but is rudely cut off by a strange man in a red and black suit.

She snorts, disgusted by him cutting her. Nothing gets between her and food. She pulls a knife out from her sweatshirt pocket and pulls the man back, wrapping her arm around him and placing a knife at his throat. "Cut in line and you shall be cut, red man." She mutters in his ear with a heavy Ukrainian accent.

"Ooooh! I get it! I was waiting here for tacos, and felt like something was going to happen. Now I know." The man says, giggling like a schoolgirl. Helena stares at him questionably.

"What do you speak of?" She asks, drawing the knife even closer to his throat.

"It's a crossover! Ooh, I love crossovers!"

"You make me annoyed." She says, and with a quick slice, he drops to the ground. The taco person stares in horror.

"I AM GOING TO CALL 9-11, RIGHT NOW! DO NOT-" He is interrupted by Helena crawling up to the window and grabbing his throat.

"I am hungry. Make me tacos or I will kill you, taco man." She says, chuckling.

The man, scared for his dear life, begins to make the tacos as Helena stares down at the strange man in the red and black suit. She glares up at the taco man, and he jumps.

"Do you know about this man?" She asks, glaring at the limp body with blood pooling around it.

"His… his name is Deadpool. He's a regular customer. He's a very strange man." The taco man says, glancing up at Helena as he makes her tacos. She hisses at him, and he quickly looks back down to focus on her food.

A small gasp is heard, and before Helena can turn around to investigate, she feels something grab her from behind and knock her to the ground. "How are you alive, Deadman?" She asks. She lunges forward at him, barking like a dog and laughing maniacally. She slashes his midsection with her knife, and kicks him hard to the ground. Placing one foot on his chest, she leans down, and mutters, "I'll kill you better this time." A sharp knife goes straight through Deadpool's head.

"Y… your tacos are ready." The taco man says, staring in terror at Deadpool, who is dead yet again. He shook his head, figuring that he would just come back again, and even angrier. Or happy? The Taco Man had no clue what was wrong with the Deadpool guy. He just wished he had more normal customers. Was it something about this block that attracted the crazy costumed freaks?

"Thank you, Taco man!" Helena says, snatching the tacos out of his hands. She begins to consume them, lettuce spilling from her mouth. Deadpool sits back up again.

"Why you wear such tight suit?" She asks, snorting as she munches on the taco.

"It's not THAT tight! It's actually-"

"You know, I came back from being almost dead once before. My seestra shot me. But you have special powers, strange man." Helena says, cutting Deadpool off mid-sentence.

"Oh goodie! I have special powers!" Deadpool cheers sarcastically.

"Why do you wear that mask?" Helena asks, still ignoring his comments.

"Because I FREAKING CAN, 20 QUESTIONS! Hey, why do you look like you haven't had sleep in 20 days? WHY CAN'T YOU DYE YOUR HAIR ROOTS?!"

Helena hisses at him, and begins to walk away, annoyed by the weird man.

"WAIT! I'm sorry. Crossovers are supposed to be fun. So either it's this writer's faulty writing, or I'm a little les fun today." Deadpool says, running to catch up to her.

She turns around and glares at him, unamused by his shenanigans.

"Deadpool. Me and my men have been looking for you." A voice says.

Helena is grabbed from behind, and begins to kick and scream, barking again.

"Heyyy- actually, this isn't shocking." Deadpool says, as a bag is thrown over his head.

Helena and Deadpool are both awoken by ice cold water cascading over their heads.

"Well that's one way to take the ice bucket challenge!" Deadpool cheers, unphased by the situation at hand.

Helena hisses at the guard, and the guard jumps back.

"We need some information…" The man says, hiding in the shadows. "But first, who is your colleague?"

"I am not a colleague." She snorts, rolling her eyes. She looks over at Deadpool, who is already attempting to escape. She watches as he slips his hands out of the rope, and hops up.

"She wishes she was!" He chirps, kicking the guy is his stomach. The guards hesitantly lunge forward, but he knocks them both out quickly.

Deadpool glances over at Helena, clearly debating on whether or not to help her escape. Before he can make up his mind, she stands up.

"Let's leave, redfool." She says, walking past him. She shoves the door open, knocking out two guards.

"This facility is not very organized. Probably faulty writing again." Deadpool says, shaking his head.

Two more guards come from around the corner of the hallway. Helena runs at one, jumping on top of him. She places her hands around his throat and snaps his neck. The limp guard falls to the ground.

Deadpool stares over, dropping the guard he was dealing with unconscious. "Wow, I was trying to get it PG-13, how do you even make it on television? Wait- it's probably BBC." He says, staring at her. "Yep, BBC."

The two maniacs make their way through the hallways, murdering people as they go. Finally, they reach the outside of the building. Naturally they're both covered in blood.

"Oh wow! We're still right by the taco truck! Faulty writing STRIKES AGAIN!"Deadpool exclaims, cheered by the thought of tacos.

"Hey, meathead! Where have ya been? A girl asks, walking up to Helena. She has long brown hair, and looks quite a bit like Helena.

"Sarah!" Helena cheers in excitement.

"Did you kill MORE people? Who the bloody hell is this?!" She asks, pointing at Deadpool. He raises his hands up in protest, claiming he's innocent.

"Seestra, this is Deadpool. He's my best friend now. Deadpool Seestra." She says, smiling proudly.

"Uhh.. What? Wait… why do you look alike? OH MY GOD, are you twins? I've always wanted a-"

"We have to go! Bye poolman!" Sarah says, cutting Deadpool off. She grabs Helena's hand and marches off.

"See you again, Deadpool Seestra!" Helena says, waving.

Deadpool scratches his head – or rather his mask- in confusion. "Yes! See you again in another crossover if the author feels like writing it!"

"You need to stop making friends with such nutheads." Sarah mutters to Helena.

 **A/N I apologize for present tense. I haven't been on here in forever and found this fic from a few months ago and decided to publish it, even though it is very limited in description! Thanks for reading!**


End file.
